Divorce Checklist: Top 10 Things to Do Before You File For a Divorce

Divorce is never easy, but preparing before you file can make the process smoother, less stressful, and far more organized. Whether you live in California or anywhere else in the United States, there are specific steps you can take to protect your finances, children, and future.

This comprehensive checklist walks you through the top 10 things to do before you file for divorce, with special attention to often-overlooked areas like life insurance.

1. Confirm Your Decision and Understand Residency Requirements

Before you start gathering documents or consulting a lawyer, it’s important to be sure that divorce is the right path. Consider marriage counseling or individual therapy to make an informed, emotionally grounded decision. If you have children, weigh the long-term effects on them and explore whether reconciliation is a realistic option. Many people regret rushing into divorce, so allow yourself time to think it through.

Once you’re certain, check the residency requirements for divorce in your state. For example, in California, at least one spouse must have lived in the state for six months and in the county where you're filing for at least three months. If you don’t meet these requirements yet, you may need to wait or consider legal separation in the meantime. Filing prematurely can result in case dismissal or delays.

2. Choose Your Process and Find the Right Legal Help

Not all divorces require court battles. You have several process options: litigation, mediation, or collaborative divorce. Mediation is ideal if both parties are amicable and want to save on legal fees. Collaborative divorce involves a team of professionals who help both spouses reach a fair agreement. Litigation should be a last resort for high-conflict or complex cases involving abuse or hidden assets.

No matter which path you choose, it’s essential to consult with at least one or two family law attorneys. A good divorce attorney will help you understand your rights and provide advice tailored to your situation. Make sure your lawyer is experienced in the family court system in your county. It’s also helpful if they’ve handled cases with similar financial or custody dynamics.

3. Organize Your Financial Records

Financial documentation is critical in any divorce. Start gathering at least three years’ worth of tax returns, pay stubs, bank statements, retirement accounts, credit card statements, mortgage documents, and investment records. Also include any debts, such as personal loans, student loans, or car payments. If you or your spouse own a business, business tax returns and profit and loss statements will be essential.

Don’t forget about non-liquid assets: art, jewelry, collectibles, stock options, and even frequent flyer miles or credit card points can be marital property. If you’re unsure of what counts, your lawyer or a financial planner can help. Organizing this early allows you to paint a clear picture of your marital estate and can prevent delays in court or mediation.

4. Review and Plan Your Insurance Coverage

Life insurance is one of the most overlooked areas in divorce planning. If you or your spouse have a life insurance policy, gather details about the type (term or whole), the coverage amount, and the current beneficiaries. In many cases, whole life policies have cash value and are considered marital assets. You’ll need to decide whether to cash them out, transfer ownership, or name a new beneficiary.

It’s also worth considering whether to purchase a new policy. If you’ll be paying or receiving child or spousal support, a life insurance policy can serve as a financial safeguard if something happens to one party. Beyond life insurance, also review your health, auto, and home insurance. Determine whether you need to secure your own policies or make changes to existing ones after the divorce. A life insurance policy for divorce is offered by companies such as Divorce Life.

5. Secure Your Personal Finances

Before you file, it’s wise to set up separate bank and credit card accounts. This helps establish financial independence and avoids potential complications if your spouse empties joint accounts or racks up debt. Be transparent about these changes if you're still living together to avoid accusations of financial misconduct.

Next, build an emergency fund with at least three to six months of living expenses. This is especially important if you’ve been financially dependent on your spouse. Start tracking your individual income and expenses to prepare a post-divorce budget. Being proactive now will help you maintain stability and protect your credit score down the road.

6. Protect Your Digital and Personal Data

Divorce isn’t just about finances and custody, it’s also about safeguarding your privacy. Begin by changing all shared or compromised passwords. Set up new personal email accounts, cloud storage, and any other digital services where your spouse may have access. If you share devices, remove sensitive documents and consider using password managers for extra security.

Also, gather digital copies of important records: insurance policies, photos of valuable items, and digital communications that might be relevant to your case. Backup your data securely in the cloud or on an external hard drive. These steps ensure you won’t lose access to vital documents during legal proceedings.

7. Plan Your Housing and Physical Safety

Housing is often one of the biggest questions in a divorce. Decide if you plan to stay in your current home or move out. If children are involved, courts may favor the parent who maintains stability, which often means staying in the home. If you plan to move, research affordable housing options ahead of time and ensure your name is removed from any lease agreements you no longer plan to be part of.

If you are in an unsafe situation or suspect potential conflict, create a safety plan. This includes having a packed bag, securing copies of important documents, and notifying a friend or family member of your plans. There are also resources such as domestic violence shelters and hotlines that can assist with secure transitions.

8. Prepare for Temporary Orders

Once divorce papers are filed, either party can request temporary orders for things like child custody, support, or exclusive use of the home. These orders stay in place until a final divorce judgment is reached and can set the tone for your case. It’s crucial to be prepared and strategic when filing or responding to these requests.

Gather supporting documentation now: pay stubs, childcare costs, school schedules, or evidence of your role as a primary caregiver. If you believe your spouse may request a temporary order that you don’t agree with, discuss your options with your attorney in advance. Preparation can make all the difference in these early legal proceedings.

9. Focus on Emotional Support and Mental Health

Divorce can take a toll on your mental health, even in the best of circumstances. Therapy can help you process emotions, reduce anxiety, and make clear-headed decisions. Support groups, both online and in person, can also offer valuable camaraderie and insight from people who’ve been through similar experiences.

Don’t neglect physical health either. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and proper sleep all contribute to emotional resilience. If you have children, prioritizing your own wellness will help you show up as a more present, stable parent during this difficult time.

10. Prepare Your Administrative and Legal Documents

Before you officially file, gather all relevant legal documents including your marriage certificate, prenuptial or postnuptial agreements, birth certificates for any children, and estate planning documents. If you have a will or power of attorney that names your spouse, consider updating them now. You’ll also need personal ID such as driver’s licenses, passports, and Social Security cards.

Filing for divorce often requires specific forms, especially in California. Familiarize yourself with the initial paperwork, such as FL-100 (Petition), FL-110 (Summons), and FL-115 (Proof of Service). Make multiple copies of each document, and don’t forget to keep them stored securely. These early administrative steps will lay the foundation for a smoother process.

Final Thoughts

Filing for divorce is a major life decision, and how you prepare can shape the outcome dramatically. This checklist offers a proactive, thorough way to get your affairs in order and protect your interests. From legal representation and housing to overlooked items like life insurance and digital security, planning ahead ensures you enter the process with clarity and confidence.